“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
Carl Gustav Jung
Unfortunately, judgments are human nature. We want to understand the world around us, and putting people, things, experiences, etc. into categories helps us to do that. However, a lot of judgments—both of ourselves and of others—can be harmful. We often judge people because we are scared, lonely, insecure, or in need of change. Here are the ways I would recommend we limit our judgments of others:
1. Monitor your thoughts. Think about what you thinking about. We often go along thinking things about other people, judging them, and don't even realize it. Work on paying more attention to your thoughts and do your best to push them in a positive direction.
2. Look for the positive. Judgments are negative. There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. While your mind might immediately focus on the negative, you can push your thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. And, of course, if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
3. Avoid stereotyping. Stereotypes are never, ever good. They really create a lot of negativity in the world and who wants to be a part of that? It’s important to work on recognizing stereotypes and then work on avoiding them at all costs. There is no need for them, since they only cause pain and negativity and hurt others.
4. Stop judging yourself. It's not all that easy to do, but the more we judge ourselves, the more we'll judge others. If you focus on the positive aspects of you, then it will be a lot easier to focus on the positive aspects of others. There's no reason to be so hard on yourself and realize that you don’t deserve to be judged.
5. Focus on your own life. When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don't worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it. When you're trying to avoid your own problems, it's easy to criticize others. Don't. Think about you and focus on the good things.
6. Remember how it feels. Remember how it feels to be judged. And remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn't feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now. Remember these feelings the next time you feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.
Judging, to some degree, is normal, but it’s usually not positive—for you or for the people you are judging. If you find other people judging you, remember that it usually has more to do with their own insecurities than it does to do with you. You might want to remind judgmental people of the six steps above, or, if possible, you might want to stay away from people who cannot help but be judgmental. If anyone—judgmental or otherwise—is bringing negativity in your life, it’s often best to get as much space from that person as possible. Life is too short to be brought down by negative people! If you have time, you may want to check out the article I wrote on the topic of judging: Stop Judging: 4 Reasons, 5 Things, 6 Ways.
This article was written by Dani, the creator of www.PositivelyPresent.com. After twenty-five years of living with a negative attitude, Dani decided to turn her life around and start focusing on the positive. In 2009, she launched Positively Present, a blog focused on living positively in the present moment and since then her personal development site as grown and it continues to touch people around the world.
“Stay positive!”
Dani
